“Always a bridesmaid, never a bride”
Literally, always being a bridesmaid and never a bride. More figuratively, it is a forlorn saying for women when they can’t find love.
This was first recorded in a Victorian music hall tune, “Why Am I Always A Bridesmaid?”, by Fred W. Leigh. However, the phrase garnered popularity after a retrospectively hilarious ad for Listerine mouthwash in 1924. The slogan, “Often a bridesmaid, but never a bride”, accompanied a picture of a forlorn ‘Edna’, who, because of her halitosis (bad breath), was never being able to find love. The solution: buying Listerine mouthwash in bulk.
Centuries ago, however, the role of the bridesmaid was quite serious. Bridesmaids could mean the difference between life and death. Seriously! Early Roman law required a wedding have 10 witnesses (which later morphed into bridesmaids and grooms men). These witnesses had to dress exactly like the bride and groom in order to trick any evil spirits in the room from coming after the happy couple.
In early 19th century England, if a couple knew someone opposed their marriage, they would also have their wedding party dress the same as them, so the opposing party couldn’t doom the marriage. Bridesmaids also protected their brides from thieves or disgruntled ex-boyfriends as they travelled to collect their dowry. And, having a matron of honour at a wedding is thought to be great luck, as it kicks off your marriage in the presence of an already happily married woman.
Now that we know bridesmaids have always been a form of protection and good luck to brides, how about the bridesmaids? Do they get anything lucky out of it? Well … it’s complicated.
An old superstition holds that if a woman is a bridesmaid three times, she’s destined to be an “old maid” and never get married herself. This might have something to do with the evil spirits mentioned above. A bridesmaid can only protect her bride from evil spirits so many times before those spirits might come after her. A more modern theory is that a bridesmaid always looks her best at a wedding. If she hasn’t attracted a husband after three public outings in her best clothes and makeup, she probably never will. A more modern theory, sure, but also more sexist.
https://people.howstuffworks.com/does-being-bridesmaid-three-times-mean-never-get-married.htm
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID?
(Charles Collins / Fred W Leigh 1917)
Why am I dressed in these beautiful clothes?
What is the matter with me?
I’ve been the bridesmaid for twenty two brides,
This time’ll make twenty three.
Twenty two ladies I’ve helped off the shelf,
No doubt it seems a bit strange,
Being the bridesmaid is no good to me,
And I think I could do with a change.
Why am I always the bridesmaid,
Never the blushing bride?
Ding dong! wedding bells
Only ring for other gels,
But some fine day,
Oh, let it be soon,
I shall wake up in the morning
On my own honeymoon.
Twenty two times have I gone to the church,
Followed the bride up the aisle,
Twenty two ladies have answered “I will”,
Meaning “I won’t” all the while.
Twenty two couples I’ve seen go away,
Just him and her on their own,
Twenty two times I have wished it was me,
And gone back home to mother alone.
Why am I always the bridesmaid,
Never the blushing bride?
Ding dong! wedding bells
Only ring for other gels,
But some fine day,
Oh, let it be soon,
I shall wake up in the morning
On my own honeymoon.
I had a good chance a week or two back,
Took my young man home to tea,
Mother got playful and have him a pinch,
Pinched my “financy” from me.
Being a widow she knew what to do,
No use for me to complain,
When they got married today, if you please,
I was only the bridesmaid again.
Why am I always the bridesmaid,
Never the blushing bride?
Ding dong! wedding bells
Only ring for other gels,
But some fine day,
Oh, let it be soon,
I shall wake up in the morning
On my own honeymoon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID?
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My wife, bless her tells me that I am rapidly becoming, or perhaps that should read have become a “Grumpy old fart”, so what better forum to spread my doom, gloom and paranoia than WordPress. I also have a love of old pictures, postcards and Edwardian Actresses, in particular Miss Gabrielle Ray which I hope to share at regular intervals. As my collection has grown I have set up another blog which contains only pictures of Miss Ray. Gabrielle Ray Thank you for viewing and comments are welcome.
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Grumpy old fart!!! 